wife had an affair and secret pregnancy – part 1

Welcome to Reddit Culous I hope you're doing 
well wherever you are in the world I hope   you're living your best life my wife cheated 
on me and was pregnant with other man's baby   this past saturday I went to use the computer and 
my wife had left her email open i had no intention   of snooping around but I noticed an inordinate 
amount of emails sent between her and a man   I became suspicious and checked them he did not 
turn out to be the other man but a friend which   my wife had confided to about the other man the 
exchanged emails are from this month july they   revealed that my wife had an affair for several 
months with a good friend of hers that she has   known since high school he is someone that i 
met and spent time with on a couple of occasions   welcomed into my home once and attended my 
wedding here are the important details from   the email their time together was real beautiful 
powerful and true it seemed like something from   a movie or book she asked him to do her a 
favor and freeze time because she did not   ever want to leave his arms what they had 
was magical it was a good phase in her life   but it had to end and she had to move on she felt 
stagnant and felt she needed to start a family   with me given her age and she had reservations 
about him being a good faithful husband and father   I am one of the good men in the world of which 
she believes there is only a small percentage of   and that is more reason to keep me before 
the other man she had an intense crush to   one of her other male friends that ended 
when she started her affair with other man   nothing happened with this first guy it 
is someone who is in a different country   and is married an email two weeks ago she 
said she loves the other man more than me   she felt the same way with me that she did with 
the other man in the beginning of our relationship   but felt we grew apart during a 
two-year long distance situation   that took place five years ago after the affair 
ended she found out she was pregnant with the   other man's baby and had in a block the other man 
did not want to start a family in this situation   and could not handle the circumstances my wife had 
reservations about his wondering eye the fact that   he would not want an imperfect baby physical 
or psychological disability she was looking   forward to having a family with me and would miss 
him have fun memories and was thankful to have   experienced mutual love again in her life when I 
read these emails i was devastated beyond belief   my wife is highly intelligent very successful in 
her field one of the most kind generous thoughtful   responsible ethical people i've ever known i 
never thought in a million years that she would   do something like this is not to say that i do not 
have any blame when we got back to living together   again after a long distance situation i was very 
good to her but i did not spend enough quality   time with her i am an extremely introverted 
person and did not always go out when we went   out with friends and family she has a highly 
demanding and stressful job and i always thought   that what i did for her was enough i did all of 
the chores and took care of her grocery shopped   cooked vacuumed cleaned did laundry washed dishes 
ironed packed her vitamins picked up her packages   in a way doing these things allowed her to even 
have the time to spend it with other people   but i was happy to do so because i wanted her to 
build her roots here when she moved to where i was   i was there to give her affection when she came 
home from work each evening have dinner with her   and later tuck her into bed i confronted her two 
days ago and yesterday i told her that i wanted a   divorce i was too devastated from the things i 
read i felt that i did not want to be a choice   made out of mediocre options i should be the only 
option i felt that i would never fully recover   and that i felt i deserved a higher level 
of happiness than the one i would have if   we tried to reconcile she understood and accepted 
my decision but was devastated we ended up having   a five hour highly emotional discussion with a lot 
of crying the divorce was pretty much a done deal   she was going to move out as soon as possible and 
had started emailing brokers through craigslist in   the end i waffled changed my mind and decided 
i wanted more time to think about my decision   during our discussion a lot of good memories 
and good things about our relationship   were brought up when we spoke about our futures 
apart we both could not contain our tears when   we spoke about the dream and plans to have 
a family dying and how we would not feel 100   right being apart from each other it was the first 
time i felt remorse from her because of what she's   done and this is the most difficult part for me to 
reconcile the thing she said in the email versus   how great she is as a person and how good she has 
been to me and my family over the years before   the affair i also find it difficult to reconcile 
the idea of having to put forth an insane amount   of effort to change myself my introversion and to 
improve our relationship after what she did to me   having unprotected sex with a man and getting 
pregnant with his baby at this juncture i still do   not know what to do she has cut off all contact 
with the other man it's weird but a part of me   believes that i will never find someone as good 
as her ever again and a part of her believes   that she will never find someone who is good to 
her as i've ever been again but there needs to   be wholesale changes definitely many on my end 
to have ourselves fit together better my wife   has tried her best to be extremely good to me 
during the time after i found out being there   to talk things out in a calm manner expressing 
to me how she cares for me and still has wishes   for a family with me understanding the times 
in which i cry profusely and hurt for hours on   end and taking me to the hospital and taking care 
of me in my time of pain i do have some concerns   while she has answered questions she refuses to 
say the other man's name i already know who it is   and she knows i know and won't even acknowledge 
openly that it's him she feels extremely   uncomfortable speaking about specific details of 
her relationship with the other man this is a huge   personal component in their relationship the other 
man went through a traumatic breakup where he had   suicidal thoughts and my wife saved him from it 
he is an eternal pessimist that doesn't believe in   true love marriage having children and is a bit of 
a depressive alcoholic the other man initiated the   affair and my wife as demonstrated in the emails 
is proud of it because the other man apparently   has changed his outlook on life and is now wanting 
to love marry and have children now just not with   her ridiculous isn't it her only answer for me was 
tears in a statement that she feels that god put   her on earth to help people with their problems 
and to solve their issues and that her purpose   isn't for her to be happy and she has always 
been that way she has been extremely thoughtful   understanding patient reliable and generous to 
all of her friends family myself over her entire   lifetime which is why i still believe that despite 
her indiscretions that she's still a good person   Z Zus your wife is toxic to you i would suggest 
immediate separation so that you can detox from   her influence and no contact after your head 
clears you'll know what to do JustJoe keep you   what the are you the family pet her favorite sofa 
do you have welcome printed across your forehead   dude where's your pride your wife screwed another 
man told him she loved him more than you gives you   some of his leftovers and you actually want to 
know what to do with all due respect are you   for real think about it what if she gave him head 
then forgot to brush her teeth and kissed you good   night let me clue you in she is not a good person 
professional expertise educational accomplishments   do not imply character Josef Mengele was a really 
good dentist but he was also a child murderer   instead of thinking what a wonderful person she 
is think about what she is not honest faithful   respectful loving loyal are just some of the 
things she isn't plus she got pregnant and if   the other man had been a better man she would have 
left you for him plus since she got pregnant that   means she had unprotected sex thereby exposing you 
to stds showing that she didn't care if you lived   or died and you have to ask if you have any pride 
and honor at all you will kick her to the curb   so fast she will change time zones that is 
what you should do 96NO oh boy what a mess   all signs point to divorce as much as it sucks it 
would be very hard for you to be able to get past   all of this i mean enough to be able to salvage 
this marriage it's too much artie lane you say   you'll never find anyone as good as her dude she 
cheated on you even got pregnant you have some   serious self-esteem issues bro 2TSonny there's 
really no considering a reconciliation since she   fully stated she loves the other man more than 
her husband done deal seems she's only sad that   she got caught not sad she did it and last time 
i checked a good woman does not consist of gals   that cheat declares her love to other men and 
kills off unborn children your idea of a good   woman is way off base take a hard look at your 
guidelines for decency much less a good woman you

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